disgusted.

i am truly, honestly, thoroughly disgusted with the state of my physical self right now. i've slowly been packing on the pounds over the last 8 years, and now i'm at a point where it has to stop. i can feel it in every joint, and i wake up sore only to roll out of bed and stare into the mirrored closet doors and almost whimper with defeat.

and you know what the most ridiculous part is? i have a goddamn gym membership and a personal trainer i can see once a month (or more if i desire to pay for more sessions).

with that being said, i'm going there now, with my broken-out face, my oversized t-shirt and ratty Payless sneakers, to try and get back into a routine of healthy living. hell, i was in better shape working at the bakery than i am now.

little lifestyle changes. like, hey, i still want that piece of ice cream cake, but could you cut me a smaller slice? or, let's get out and play frisbee golf this weekend (when i'm done with my pre-operative paperwork) even if it's only 9 holes.

and the most positive change, which isn't really a little change at all, is that greg and i are moving back to clifton in a month. walking to IGA and lugging those big reusable bags home full of groceries, maybe even walking down to school once in a while (when it's not face-meltingly hot outside), and maybe--just maybe--finally getting a bike.

or two bikes.