i'ma write some mushy shit now.

g-man and i have been a hot fucking item for almost 5 years. as i was half-watching shitty SNL episodes on netflix in bed, nearly sneezing cerebrospinal fluid from my ears, i thought of something really cute.

a fake album about us. like, a fucking rock opera about us. the title will be "THEY'RE ALL LAUGHING AT US IN CHINESE" and the track listing is going to be something like this:

1) he read all of her feminist literature (and liked it)

2) this one goes out to your nose hair

3) let's fly to phoenix (and scare the shit out of my mother)

4) i still don't like arcade fire (but it's okay if you do)

5) blind date at panera

6) truck wreck for love

7) the couple who karaokes together, shareokes together

8) fluxxify my love

plus, the end-of-the-album hidden track: not a jew